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Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome, by Rudy Simone
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*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards*
* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women's Issues Category *
Girls with Asperger's Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.
This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.
This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger's Syndrome.
- Sales Rank: #35884 in Books
- Published on: 2010-06-15
- Released on: 2010-06-15
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .55" w x 6.00" l, .85 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
Review
"I can highly recommend this book to all Aspergirls and their parents, family, partners and professionals, as well as to all members of our community. With humour, love, liking and respect Rudy opens our eyes to the World of the Aspergirl, providing powerful insights on love, learning, sex, career, marriage, having children, friendships, puberty, diagnosis, emotions, health, aging and more...For too many years we have missed Aspergirls due to our current understanding of Asperger's syndrome being largely based on a male presentation. Rudy generously provides, through deep personal insight and her interviews with other Aspergirls, a broader definition and understanding, one that will help bridge the gap between Aspergirls and the non-spectrum population." --Dr. Michelle Garnett MPsych(Clin) PhD MAPS MCCP, Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist, Minds & Hearts: A Specialist Clinic for Asperger's Syndrome and Autism
"Aspergirls is an extraordinary read. It is an affirmation of the movement towards understanding AS in females, and a celebration of the culture of AS womanhood. Simone writes with passion, honesty and truth - sharing both the challenges and the joys of a woman's life on the spectrum through her own observations and the voices of other women. It is rich with stories and strategies to be read and re-read as reminders, mantras and as a map for embarking on the journey of being a woman with AS. Above all, it is a much-needed book about permission, empowerment, and as Simone so eloquently states, moving beyond the mutism. Bring all your color, girls, and paint the world!" --Shana Nichols, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, Researcher and Clinical Director of ASPIRE Center for Learning and Development, and author of Girls Growing Up on the Autism Spectrum
Review
Ruby Simone's approach is hands-on, and her writing style is easy to read. The chapters are short and give good tips to woman and girls with AS and the people closest to them. I don't know that I believe all the holistic stuff, but I think this book should be required reading for woman and girls who have been diagnosed with AS. (A Girl Walks into a Bookstore Blog)
Every chapter deals with the everyday things that occur in life, explaining how you could feel when you're in love, when you fancy someone, to what you do and should do when going on a date. Sexual relationships and sexual activity are clearly explained, as are how they are affected by sensory issues and whether sex is painful and annoying (Asperger United)
It is interesting the way temper meltdowns are described very accurately and are written just as I experience them, including crying, frustration, shouting, yelling, being sarcastic, becoming vicious, feeling faint or dizzy and that temper meltdowns often happen when we are hungry. (Asperger United)
This is a very readable and enlightening book for all Aspergrirls, their family, friends and involved others... This thoughtful account enthuses the reader and builds their understanding of the specific needs of Aspergirls; a highly recommended book. (Youth in Mind)
In the accessible and relevant 'Aspergirls', Rudy Simone takes the reader through the stages of life from childhood to old age, looking at issues such as the Aspergirl's 'meltdowns', 'stims' (self-stimulatory behaviour), literal thinking, socialising and sexuality. It is written in a touching, often humorous and very practical style, effectively providing a life manual for females with Asperger Syndrome. The anecdotes from Aspergirls she has interviewed broaden the reader's insight into what is must be like to live with this syndrome. (Speech & Language Therapy in Practice)
In a lovely style, Rudy Simone covers every aspect of personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt and savant skills to friendships, romance and marriage...Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception and empowers Aspergirls to lead happy and fulfilled lives. (Human Givens Journal)
I can highly recommend this book to all Aspergirls and their parents, family, partners and professionals, as well as to all members of our community. With humour, love, liking and respect Rudy opens our eyes to the World of the Aspergirl, providing powerful insights on love, learning, sex, career, marriage, having children, friendships, puberty, diagnosis, emotions, health, aging and more...For too many years we have missed Aspergirls due to our current understanding of Asperger's syndrome being largely based on a male presentation. Rudy generously provides, through deep personal insight and her interviews with other Aspergirls, a broader definition and understanding, one that will help bridge the gap between Aspergirls and the non-spectrum population. (Dr Michelle Garnett MPsych(Clin) PhD MAPS MCCP, Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist, Minds & Hearts: A Specialist Clinic for Asperger's Syndrome and Autism)
Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like thy do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas. (Help! SOS for Parents)
Many people, doctors and counsellors included, see AS (Autism Spectrum) as predominately affecting men. The Aspergirls is more often than not overlooked or diagnosed later in life. Rudy's book helps girls with AS to realize that they are not alone and lets them know that there are others who feel like they do. But Rudy also does a thoughtful job of illustrating that not all girls with AS are the same. They have both talents and deficits and vary based on intelligence, level of imagination, and obsessions, just to name a few areas.' - Help! S-O-S for Parents
'Specialists' books are all very well, but what people really, really need are the 'case histories' told from the inside. And so far this is the best I've seen. Aspergirls is a mix between Rudy's own experience and that of other Aspergirls, as well as pure advice, both to other Aspies as well as to Neurotypicals.
(Bookwich blog)This book is a tremendous resource for Aspergirls, their parents, family, friends and professionals. Based on Ms. Simone's personal insight as well as her interviews of over 35 women on the spectrum, this book will serve as an inclusive reference manual. Each chapter is packed with information on sensory overload, guilt, dating, higher learning and career, medication, meltdowns and stomach issues to name only a few. At the end of each chapter are sections containing very practical suggestions for Aspergirls, and their parents for handling the multitude of issues that can accompany Asperger's syndrome. She also encourages Aspergirls to celebrate and cherish who they are and puts to rest some common myths about girls on the spectrum. She encourages us with statements such as, "Life is about making a contribution, not about being popular and fitting in." Ms. Simone is very candid and open about her own struggles and with bullying experiences. She also discusses the difficulties in identifying women on the spectrum. This book will serve as an excellent reference for the Aspergirl and those who love/work with her. (Bonnie Kimpling-Kelly, teacher and behavior analyst)
This book is an easy to read, sensitive and funny at times while presenting some serious matters to consider. The concerns are focused on the individual but inclusive of the parents, educator and the community surrounding them. Whether you are a parent of a child with Asperger Syndrome or know someone who is, this is a must read as it will not only provide the reader with a good insight and look into the lives of girls with Asperger Syndrome, but also make you laugh as you develop more compassion aside faith. (Oren Shtayermman Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders)
About the Author
Rudy Simone is an Aspergirl, writer and AS consultant who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is the author of '22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome', also published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Most helpful customer reviews
129 of 130 people found the following review helpful.
If you think you might be an Aspergirl, you NEED to read this book. Today.
By Jill Florio
I was astounded to recognize myself in these pages. For decades I have been wrestling with self-diagnosing my non-normal neurological behaviors, but always sort of discounted Aspergers as an answer.
It makes sense now that I realize most previous studies on Aspergers Syndrome were based on studies of men and boys. It's a huge relief to realize that Aspergers presents differently among girls and women - and to realize I that have found myself within these pages.
It's at once incredibly freeing and a little sad. It's freeing to realize I am not alone, not some alien masquerading (poorly) as a human. It's freeing to know who I am, neurologically. But then, sad, to realize that the things that have been endless challenges for me - mainly work, relationships and finances - are NOT going to magically go away, no matter how hard or optimistically I try to fix them. They are part and parcel of me. I have to work *with* these things - allow for them - and give up on trying to *solve* them.
I wish I could make everyone I come into close contact with read Aspergirls. Friends and family would understand and hopefully tolerate my quirks better. And in fact, I am sure I would be more completely appreciated for my assets - the creativity, quirky humor, hyperfocus, passionate interests and engaging literacy...and the ability to spot patterns, amazing people with 'intuitive' leaps of logic that seem to spring from very few clues.
A few things in this book could be easily added to make it better: it seems that the author intends readers to be somewhat familiar with Autism in the first place, and I had to Google such terms as Mutism and Trainspotting. The terms Meltdown and Stimming were easier to determine from context - and opened my eyes to terms I can actually apply to my bad times/episodes of 'abnormal' public behavior. I would have appreciated more historical views on Aspergers, with more explanation of terms.
The chart at the end of the book is extremely useful; I am considering copying that part alone to hand out to friends and loved ones (which I'd then mark and highlight carefully for personal emphasis!).
In any case, I've highlighted and marked up many useful passages throughout the book for *myself* - I now keep the book by my bedside as a reminder that I might NOT have been an alien baby abandoned on this strange planet. I may not be able to pass as a neurotypical human, but with this book I can start to head off a few meltdowns and start to feel better about myself.
If you are questioning whether you or a female loved one has AS, reading this book should provide you the insight you need. You will either light up with recognition, or sigh and move on to the next possible diagnosis.
49 of 52 people found the following review helpful.
A Godsend! AsperGirl Power!
By BeatleBangs1964
This is one of the best books about girls and women on the autism/Asperger's spectrum that I have EVER read! No parent, educator or medical professional should be without this gem. Women and girls on the spectrum will certainly recognize themselves in this stellar masterpiece of a book. It is very empowering!
If you are a girl or woman on the spectrum, this book is truly your best friend. Rudy Simone, like Dr. Travis Thompson and Dr. Tony Attwood is the voice of tolerance and understanding in re the a/A experience. She really "gets" it!
I like the way she replaces harmful verbiage such as "stimming," which is a term I never liked either with the more tolerant and much more accurate term "soothing" behaviors. She dislikes the term "stimming" because to her it sounds "creepy." I dislike it because I think it trivializes or downplays the need to release excess tension when sensory input gets to be too much. After all, the neurotypical (NT) population "stims," by tapping and jingling things in their pockets and fidgeting, just to name a few.
Rudy Simone is a genius. It is as simple as that. She has interviewed women on the spectrum and included their thoughts in this masterpiece of a book. Liane Holliday Willey wrote the foreword and she has Asperger's and her daughter does as well.
Rudy Simone outlines critical points throught one's life, from birth to senior citizenship with Asperger's. She outlines with clearly written, easy to follow lists of key bullet items that help direct readers' focus on Aspergerian behaviors, reasons for same and mechanisms for coping. Each chapter closes with Advice to Parents and Advice to Aspergirls. I like the new terminology - Aspergirls. Liane Holliday Willey's daughter said it sounded like a superhero and she is right. I think we should get into raising our glasses and proposing a toast to Rudy Simone!
I strongly urge everyone to read this book and I would like to give people extra copies of it. It has truly been a major help to me personally and for that, I say a heartfelt "THANK YOU, RUDY SIMONE!"
42 of 44 people found the following review helpful.
Like a Pat Benetar girl-power anthem...
By B. Caruso
But in book form and specifically for Aspergirl...
Seriously, it is *that* honest, empowering, and inspiring.
Give Aspergirls wings that they can use, and watch them soar!
This book is not intended as a "maybe my female child falls somewhere on the spectrum" or a tool to identify where on the spectrum a person may fall.
It is delightfully specific. I think the best audience for this book is well, Aspergirls of all ages, women who suspect they have as-of-yet-undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. It is a good book for parents of girls, young women, and even grown women with Asperger's Syndrome. It is a book that would be helpful for any loved one of a female with Asperger's Syndrome. It is definitely mostly for Aspergirls of all ages, or parents of Aspergirls (or suspected Aspergirls) of all ages.
If my parents took an interest in knowing the real me (an Aspergirl raising a son with Asperger's) instead of lamenting in how I failed in meeting their expectations for the past 34 years, then they would learn so much about why I was the way that I was growing up, and why I am the way I am now.
Simone finds a careful balance in addressing all of the audiences- she gives wonderful and a wide variety of examples of experiences in each chapter/topic, and then summarizes them into a couple of paragraphs directly addressed to the female with Asperger's and then refocuses into a summary directly addressed to the parents of an Aspergirl.
I am grateful for Simone's insight into the remarkable differences between boys and girls with Asperger's. I am hopeful that this book helps to change professional opinion and help more girls and women get the support they need to succeed as themselves, in all aspects of life.
So many women (actually females of all ages) are mislabeled as freaks and have their self-esteem and their futures destroyed because people (parents, teachers, employers) who don't get it try to remold them into what they think is "normal and acceptable". This book increases understanding so we (the Aspergirls) can stop spending all of our energy trying to blend in as normal, and instead put that energy into actually living in this strange, alien world we were born into.
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